Well, since the ultrasound put my "week change" on Sunday and the doctor has my due date as June 28 (a Tuesday), I'm going to start counting my week changes on Tuesdays. So, we've made it 22 weeks today. Gabriel is avidly kicking and squirming ... usually in the morning, at mealtimes (this little tyke likes to eat!) and at bedtime.
At my OB appointment yesterday, though, he gave us a little scare when he played "hide and seek" while the doctor was searching for his heartbeat. Being the good doctor that he is, my doc made light conversation with me as he moved the doppler -- covered in goop, mind you -- all over my belly. I kept thinking I was hearing things and then he'd say, "hmmm," and move it somewhere else. Finally, he found the heartbeat (near my belly button). He said it was difficult to detect because of all my blood vessels pulsing, but when we heard it, there was no doubt. That little "swoosh, swoosh, swoosh" was music to my ears.
As I'm typing this, Gabriel is literally kicking me. I can tell he's getting stronger :). I'm getting excited because in a few weeks, he'll be able to hear my voice. I've been singing to him already, just in case he can hear me, and praying out loud for him. I want him to know how much he is loved and wanted and how incredibly special he is.
The other day, we found an amazing deal on a crib bedding set. It's called Lambs & Ivy Habitat and it's so adorable! I have the valance and a receiving blanket, too, and hope to register for the lamp, mobile and wall art for my shower later this spring. We've begun clearing out one guest room so we can paint it and move our full-size bed into that room so we can transform our current guest room into a nursery. I wish the weather were warmer so I could take advantage of these weekends and paint, but I know fumes aren't good for pregnant mommies so I'll either need helpers, or I'll have to wait until Spring when I can open the windows. Either way, I'm getting excited. I'm hoping to paint the nursery green (similar to the paint swatch on the bedding website -- the link is above). There are so many things to do to get ready for our little miracle, but Lord willing, we'll have at least 18 more weeks to prepare!
On a more personal note, I've been struggling with some fear and depression lately. Part of it has to do with weight gain and hormones, I'm sure, and the dismal winter weather isn't helping at all. But there are other trials going on right now in the midst of the joy, and I'm afraid I'm letting these things steal my joy a bit. When I think on the last year and how amazingly God came through for me in so many ways, I know what I'm feeling right now is silly. I know that I need to focus on God and rely on Him to provide and work out the tough stuff, but sometimes that is just easier said than done -- especially when you add a third little person into the mix. I feel so responsible and I just don't know if I'll measure up. So, I'm going to try and surrender these feelings and ask God to fill me up with confidence in His ability to provide. That's all I'm going to ask for. That, and a healthy baby, and a healthy family. Truly, that is my heart's desire.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Pregnancy - 19 Weeks
So many things have happened since my last post--it's hard to know where to begin. I think I'll start with the most exciting part: the ultrasound! Let's back up a moment, though, and I'll tell you how I got there. On Jan. 24 (a Monday), I had my 17.5-week prenatal check-up. Everything looked good. The healthy little heart was beating at 146 bpm and my thyroid bloodwork came back, showing it had dropped from 5.0 to 3.0 in the two months I've been taking thyroid meds. The doctor wants me to stay on the same dosage for now, but will re-check my levels at my next checkup. After we'd been through all the questions I had for the doctor, I asked about the ultrasound. He said now was the time to schedule it so I did just that after my appointment. Three days later, we had our ultrasound. I was excited and nervous that they were getting me in so soon.
On Thursday Jan. 27 at 10:30 a.m., my husband and I got to see our little one for the second time (we saw the heartbeat at 9 weeks, but that ultrasound machine was really grainy). It was literally the most amazing experience of my life so far. When the tech put the wand on my belly, our little angel revealed that he is a boy! There was no doubt about it. The tech was so sure she said she'd re-paint the nursery if she were wrong. Now, at that point, I had been feeling little "popcorn" kicks for about a week, but it was so incredible to see the baby move as I felt him! And boy oh boy did he ever move! We watched as he wiggled and wriggled and kicked. We saw his adorable little profile, arms, legs, fingers toes, lips and tongue, brain, heart, spine and other organs. Everything looked perfect, the tech said. He even opened and closed his mouth and stuck his tongue out. The resolution on the screen was truly amazing. The ultrasound made me fall more madly in love with my little boy and made me more anxious to meet him than ever. Here's his adorable profile. I think he has my turned-up nose.
Since the ultrasound, it's been hard for me to get him out of my mind. I realize that I've been pregnant this whole time, and feeling his kicks has definitely made it feel more real to me, but seeing him--I can't even describe what that felt like. He is so incredibly precious to me and I love him so much. I just want to take the best care of him that I can and nurture him in the womb so he can have the best start possible.
In the interest of the best start, I've decided to take Bradley classes and plan for a natural (drug-free) childbirth. Our first class was last Sunday and it was quite eye-opening for me. At the end of the class, the instructor took out a birth atlas and showed us all the positions the baby needs to be in in order to be born. This was truly fascinating. I also learned exercises that will help prepare my body for labor and delivery, and help it to recover afterward. Many of the people in the class recommended the movie, "The Business of Being Born," so I looked it up and watched it that night. The movie, while interesting, traumatized me somewhat. It showed graphic live births (one c-section) and natural labor and delivery. Those women were in intense pain and honestly, that didn't make me feel more confident that I can do what they did. The movie also villainized the healthcare system in America and made it sound like midwives and home births were the way to go. Now, I'm sure there's a lot of validity to what they were saying and they did have evidence to back it up (in New York), but I'm still planning on having my baby naturally, in the hospital, with my doctor.
Since going to Bradley class and watching that film, I've needed quite a bit of reassurance from my mom (who has had 7 natural births). She says not to listen to horror stories and not to be gripped by fear. She believes in me and thinks I'm strong enough to do what I'm planning on doing. I pray for strength often. I am preparing my body through doing the Bradley exercises and lots of cardio, but if my plan doesn't end up working out in the end, if my baby's healthy, that's all that will matter to me.
Back to the pregnancy, I've been feeling great. So great, in fact, that I've been able to work out in the gym. I've been sleeping well, eating well and my energy, for the most part, has returned. I'm praising God that this second trimester has been so great so far. Now, what I'm looking forward to is planning for the birth and enjoying the rest of this time while my baby is safely nestled inside.
On Thursday Jan. 27 at 10:30 a.m., my husband and I got to see our little one for the second time (we saw the heartbeat at 9 weeks, but that ultrasound machine was really grainy). It was literally the most amazing experience of my life so far. When the tech put the wand on my belly, our little angel revealed that he is a boy! There was no doubt about it. The tech was so sure she said she'd re-paint the nursery if she were wrong. Now, at that point, I had been feeling little "popcorn" kicks for about a week, but it was so incredible to see the baby move as I felt him! And boy oh boy did he ever move! We watched as he wiggled and wriggled and kicked. We saw his adorable little profile, arms, legs, fingers toes, lips and tongue, brain, heart, spine and other organs. Everything looked perfect, the tech said. He even opened and closed his mouth and stuck his tongue out. The resolution on the screen was truly amazing. The ultrasound made me fall more madly in love with my little boy and made me more anxious to meet him than ever. Here's his adorable profile. I think he has my turned-up nose.
Since the ultrasound, it's been hard for me to get him out of my mind. I realize that I've been pregnant this whole time, and feeling his kicks has definitely made it feel more real to me, but seeing him--I can't even describe what that felt like. He is so incredibly precious to me and I love him so much. I just want to take the best care of him that I can and nurture him in the womb so he can have the best start possible.
In the interest of the best start, I've decided to take Bradley classes and plan for a natural (drug-free) childbirth. Our first class was last Sunday and it was quite eye-opening for me. At the end of the class, the instructor took out a birth atlas and showed us all the positions the baby needs to be in in order to be born. This was truly fascinating. I also learned exercises that will help prepare my body for labor and delivery, and help it to recover afterward. Many of the people in the class recommended the movie, "The Business of Being Born," so I looked it up and watched it that night. The movie, while interesting, traumatized me somewhat. It showed graphic live births (one c-section) and natural labor and delivery. Those women were in intense pain and honestly, that didn't make me feel more confident that I can do what they did. The movie also villainized the healthcare system in America and made it sound like midwives and home births were the way to go. Now, I'm sure there's a lot of validity to what they were saying and they did have evidence to back it up (in New York), but I'm still planning on having my baby naturally, in the hospital, with my doctor.
Since going to Bradley class and watching that film, I've needed quite a bit of reassurance from my mom (who has had 7 natural births). She says not to listen to horror stories and not to be gripped by fear. She believes in me and thinks I'm strong enough to do what I'm planning on doing. I pray for strength often. I am preparing my body through doing the Bradley exercises and lots of cardio, but if my plan doesn't end up working out in the end, if my baby's healthy, that's all that will matter to me.
Back to the pregnancy, I've been feeling great. So great, in fact, that I've been able to work out in the gym. I've been sleeping well, eating well and my energy, for the most part, has returned. I'm praising God that this second trimester has been so great so far. Now, what I'm looking forward to is planning for the birth and enjoying the rest of this time while my baby is safely nestled inside.
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